You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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