the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
