i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I looked at my own cervix.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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