Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
