Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize