Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
