Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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