i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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