Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We have started to decorate penises.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
