i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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