Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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