well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
