I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize