sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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