I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
And then he peed in my hair
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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