My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
