I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
