so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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