How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
