I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize