my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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