5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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