You smell like a Billy Joel song
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
