so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
