I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
