If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
