did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
