Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
