roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
