i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
