i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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