My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
