Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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