I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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