dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
