I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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