So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
