He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
