I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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