If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
