I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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