32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
