Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm too high and old for this...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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