Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
