How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
