I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
