I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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