batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
two words: eviction party
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
