So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
