Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize