bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
