She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
