I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I love you. Go after that dick
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
