I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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