Me. At least after what I've been through.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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