Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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