you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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