So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
