i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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